Who would have thought there was a science to Hot Pockets?
To be honest, I have not indulged in microwave meals in quite some time, but seeing all of these responses has me mildly concerned about how many people are consuming these on a regular basis. Sure, for a musician, it makes sense.
It’s a complete meal and is quick and easy making it a perfect road meal…but for us non-touring folks, are y’all really eating these that often?
Zach Bryan took to social media to ask fans how they cook the perfect Hot Pocket, and the response was alarming. Of course, you can cook a Hot Pocket many different ways these days: air fryer, oven, microwave oven, maybe even a toaster, but ZB is making this question microwave-specific.
“So what are we putting hot pockets at, microwave wise.”
Who would have thought there were so many ways to cook a Hot Pocket that deviated from the box instructions? Commenters quickly fired off with their preferred cooking instructions, giving the country music star a lot of advice.
And I must admit that often, the comments are filled with fans requesting songs at upcoming shows or begging for an album to be dropped, but these commenters were passionate about giving Hot Pocket advice, with little other noise not related to cooking instructions.
“Hit 30-sec button x3, finger stab, calculate from there. Same applies to everything except popcorn.”
“2 minutes. Stop at 0:33.”
“As a hot pocket connoisseur, for full coverage heat, non-lava forming perfection – 1:08. I know… annoying to push the “cook time” button first, but better than hitting +30 three times and watching.”
“Just gotta feel it out sometimes, no set timer.”
“77 seconds.”
“If it ain’t lava it won’t disinfect your internal organs right.”
“There is no answer to this. Scientists gave up.”
“Zach we’ve grown up and put them in the toaster oven I fear.”
“2 minutes, cut in half, chug a Bud heavy, burn mouth.”
“Depends on the microwave lol. But I like 1:50.”
“1 min and 45 sec. not too gooey, not too burnt to where your tongue gets punched by the devil’s heat.”
Then, one user came in with a hot take, wondering if he was even inquiring about microwave foods rather than cooking instructions:
“I think he is saying like ranking wise y’all… not the daggum instructions. Which if so – probably 4th behind bagel bites, taquitos, pizza rolls.”
ZB I’m going to need 2 things from you. A clarification on what you are asking along with what your favorite kind of Hot Pocket is. Also an almost 5 am Hot Pocket…are you just now ending your night or having a breakfast Pocket, dog?
