If you thought weddings were something only women dream about, think again.
I know you may be thinking that men only care about the cost, but the fact of the matter is that the big day is pretty important to us and we have some interesting ideas to contribute too. The answers are all over the place and, aside from a random group of Star Wars fantasies, most of the responses to the question “What is your dream wedding?” were fairly realistic.
One thing is for sure, they’re guaranteed to make you laugh, make you think, and make you love the internet.
And as a guy that got married about a year ago (right before COVID struck), I can honestly say that “less people, less money” is the one thing you’re really gonna want to remember.
So once again, the men of AskReddit came through, so here’s 45 men and their dream weddings:
1. “Free”
-rubberrobbyy
2. “Wedding. In. Space.”
-Shippoyasha
3. “Somewhere as remote and inaccessible as possible. Just an open bar and a few close friends and that’s it, but you soon realize you aren’t doing a wedding for yourselves, you’re doing it for everyone else…”
-TriceratopsHunter
4. “I’m having my wedding August 25th. We’ve planned everything, the guests, the non guests, the color of the table cloths, the flavor of the cake, etc … (goes on for a whole paragraph) Right now, my dream wedding would be Me, My wife, My best man, Her maid of honor on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere with flip flops and a nice shirt.”
-Back2Beantown
5. “I don’t even care if it gets my man card revoked, I like the idea of a semi-traditional wedding. Just not done in a church.”
-Nexaz
6. “I want an online marriage “Prime” tool where both of us can put in our Amazon passwords and the judge will drive to my door, complete with a pen, a couple of rings, and witnesses, in 30 minutes or less. For $15 extra, a pizza and a 2-liter bottle of Coke.”
-Michael_APKPLZ
7. “Just close family as guest. Small ceremony. Lot’s of sex afterwards.”
-Baconlightning
8. “I couldn’t care less what she’ll wear or what she looks like. It all depends on what she cooks like…..Beef, pork, chicken. Mmmmmm.”
-jamestht
9. “I want to see the person I love feel as though on that day they’re the most beautiful woman on the planet. Because that’s what she’d be every day in my eyes. Just gotta meet her now!”
-PM-ME-YOUR-TUMMIES
10. “Sign the papers at the courthouse, friends over for a house party, won’t spend much more than I would for a regular party but since it’s a celebration of our marriage I secretly hope guests will feel obligated to get us wedding gifts and I won’t discourage them from doing so. I might get a guy to pretend to perform a ceremony and rent an arch for the backyard so it looks like I invited guests to a wedding ceremony. Depending on how much that costs and whether its the same price to just get the officiant to come to the party.”
-WantDiscussion
11. “I want my bride to walk into the room to the tune of the Imperial March. And as we’re about kiss, I want the Throne Room theme playing with best man dressed as Chewbacca standing to the side.”
-noelg1998
12. “In the woods. Just me and her. We make our vows to each other and that’s it. Then awesome outdoor sex.”
-FlowSoSlow
13. “Underwater officiated by a shark.”
-notsofastandy
14. “It would have a keg. That’s as far as I thought.”
-BrianPillmansGun
15. “For me, it’s a short ceremony – like 30 minutes max – to make the bride happy, then a shit show for a reception. If money wasn’t an option, I’d have Migos, 2 Chainz, Kendrick, A$AP Mob, and any other rapper I could think of doing performances. Open bar, with anything you want. Lean included. A smoker’s bar with every strain of pot in existence. Guests will be served with a fresh bong, dab rig, or vape on demand. Food will be good ole southern soul food. You can’t beat that shit. Location would ideally be in the mountains, it’d be an outdoor wedding, but with a covered roof.”
-Falconinati
16. “I go play a round of golf and spend the rest of the day drinking while she goes and marries someone else.”
-edmanet
17. “Shaft themed.”
-Arumple
18.”Getting married at the taco bell cantina in vegas. luckily my gf is down with it, and her parents don’t care as long as they’re invited. it will most likely happen. chalupa centerpieces on deck baby.”
-vladimir_tootin
19. “Huge and romantic. All my old friends and I’ll marry a girl with whom I have a lot of friends in common. She’ll have a body to die for and I will tear up 5 times during the day. Can’t wait to fall in love with a girl who loves me back with the same vigor.”
-MothersPasghetti
20. “I’d sooner just go see a judge and have it there. No cake, no guests, no ceremony. Use the money saved to go on a really nice vacation honeymoon.”
-Revalet
21. “Honestly that typical big wedding. I was raised, and while not particularly good at it, still am a practicing catholic so I’d like to get married in a church.”
-TheMysteriousMid
22. “Does signing papers and being done with it count?”
-Abaddon_4_Dictator
23. “Never really thought about it until I got engaged. Now that we are planning it what we’ve decide upon is my dream wedding cause I got to build it together with the person I love in a way that matches us as a couple.”
-thoselusciouslips
24. “Non-existent. A wedding ceremony is only symbolic and has no real benefit or use to my life or wallet. Only doing it because girlfriend wants one.”
-xjliftquestion
25. “Everyone is dressed as storm troopers.”
-Expert_on_all_topics
26. “I had my dream wedding. Just me and the wife on a scenic beach in Hawaii. No guests, no reception, just us, a photog and the ceremony person. Cost us very little and we were already on a honeymoon vacation. Highly recommend this way.”
-MontanaSD
27. “There’s a pirate bar downtown that will have a pirate officiate your service (service=literally just standing at the bar and he says “Yar, do yee? And yee? Yo ho ho.”), sign your paperwork, and give bride and groom a shot of Jaeger for $15. I’ve been trying to convince my girlfriend for like 4 years that this is what we need to do.”
-etherealcaitiff
28. “Done with a prenump in hand.”
-qukle
29. “Cheap, small, up in the mountains a bit, barbeque food, open bar, autumn.”
-not_working_at_
30. “Man, there are a ton of cynical comments in here with a ton of guys complaining about planning, cost, wishing they could just go to an island, etc. I’m getting married in October, got engaged last year on a beach in the Dominican Republic, and I’ve enjoyed every bit of the planning and lead up to the wedding. We aren’t breaking the bank, since our entire wedding will cost around $15k, with our parents helping with a little less than half of that, but we are getting married on a beautiful farm in the Shenandoah Valley.”
-callthewambulance
31. “Whatever makes the Bride happy right? Right! ;)”
-Mr5wift
32. “Just something small. I’m not religious so I don’t want it in a church. Just something small and cheap. Spend that money on an awesome honeymoon.”
-OptimusPitts
33. “Whatever my wife would want….within reason. Like not a blank check.”
-Jman7188
34. “I wanna get married by (or even to) a Rabbi Elvis.”
-BlueHighwindz
35. “With a beautiful woman, inside and out. That’s all that really matters in the end, isn’t it?”
-MBPyro
36. “I wouldn’t have a problem getting married at a courthouse, having a small “reception” at a nicer-than-usual pub and save the money for either the honeymoon, a house or potentially our children(s) college funds.”
-Givethedrumm3rsum
37. “Mine would be modeled after the medal ceremony at the end of A New Hope. All guests will be in costume complete with the same musical score. It’s been my wish since I was like….5 or 6.”
-PENNYDIM_
38. “I just want a girl who doesn’t want some big fiasco and it will go well. Those chicks who have planned it since they were 10 scare the shit out of me.”
-MarvDaMartian
39. “I’d be cool without an official venue. Find a nice place outdoors. Invite immediate family and close friends. Me in a suit, her in a wedding dress. Simple and happy.”
-McBroha
40. “Like a medieval main hall, a big feast and lots of wine/ale.”
-mrgoonermate
41. “BBQ and a bouncy house.”
-procrastinarian
42. “Normal wedding. Somewhere tropical; Hawaii would be ideal. The only thing I would have a strong opinion on is the food and wedding cake.”
-JabTrill
43. “With blackjack and hookers in a bar in Ibiza.”
-MITSF
44. “Me and Katie Holmes!”
-micleecon
45. “It happened on June 13th 2015. We had it outdoors in a park. She came down the isle to an instrumental Philharmonic version of “All of My Love.” Dinner was a pig roast. We had lots of horseshoes, lawn darts, corn hole, beer pong etc being played. 6 kegs of beer from my favorite brewery (Naked Dove) and 6 coolers full of what I call “dad cans.” Music was good, people enjoyed themselves and I was married to the girl of my dreams.”
-rottinguy
Easy peasy…
And the next thing you know, you’re here.
